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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

KAT’S STORY: The Harmful and Abusive Effects My Boyfriend’s Porn Use Had On Our Sexual Relationship


Check out Kat’s story! A sad tale of the abusive effects her boyfriend’s porn use had on their relationship. Also, please don’t forget to SHARE AND COMMENT! We will pass on a link to this post to Kat so she can read your feedback. :-) Thanks!


Kat (female, 30, U.S., found through YouTube, username frolickunicorn)

After reading a lot on your site, I’ve come to the conclusion that I already suspected. I think my ex-boyfriend was very into porn, hardcore porn. I can’t go as far as to say he was an #addict, but I think he watched enough of it that he became jaded in regards to sex.

He often wanted to do “facials”, to put his hands around my neck, and often, if he was too rough and I would begin crying, he did not stop. I too became jaded into thinking this was ok, that he was just very horny and unable to stop having sex once he started. I thought this was ok and “normal.” I know now that it’s not.

There were times that if I didn’t feel like having sex, he would pretty much talk me into it somehow, or force me sometimes if alcohol was involved. He is a very educated and intelligent person, so I was driven to a state of denial and believed that all of this was ok in a sense even though in the back of my head I knew it wasn’t.

I found porn clips on his computer sometimes and I know that he watched it, but I suspect it was more often than I liked to believe. Even his mother said she found some on the family computer once after he’d visited for the holidays. She described it as “bad porn”, so I suspect it was violent or degrading. For years our sex life was simply whatever was pleasing to him. I never had an orgasm and it didn’t matter to him and honestly, not to me either as I just wanted to get it over with.

After looking on your site, I’ve realized that, almost without a doubt, porn was influencing this in some ways. It wasn’t always this way, but when I began finding things on his computer was around the time this sort of sexual behavior began.

I’d like to thank and support you for educating people on the harms this can cause in many aspects of life, including intimate relationships. I look back and wish I’d been more aware of what was causing him to act this way sexually and why, and that it was not normal in any way. We’re no longer together, but now I know I can look for these things in the future.


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